


take shelter and hide forever, your soul will be ok

by notthebigspoon



Series: Rhythm Divine [5]
Category: Baseball RPF, White Collar
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-21
Updated: 2012-10-21
Packaged: 2017-11-16 17:42:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/542122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notthebigspoon/pseuds/notthebigspoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jace feels like he doesn't belong anywhere. But the problem really might be that he doesn't know how to accept it when he can fit in.</p><p>Title taken from Soaked by Adam Lambert.</p>
            </blockquote>





	take shelter and hide forever, your soul will be ok

@thejcallahan Daddy doesn't love me anymore.  
@timlincecum @thejcallahan No he does not. He has upgraded to a new, improved model.  
@thejcallahan @timlincecum I'm telling on you.  
@sergioromo54 @thejcallahan @timlincecum I am very sad for the both of you. #sostupid

Jace might be frequently sending out very pouty tweets but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't as thrilled as everyone else about the new baby. He pads through Tim and Neal's penthouse, Weezy in his arms, sleeping and tiny and so fragile. She'd started bawling around four am and Jace had rolled onto his feet, making tracks for the nursery before she could wake Tim or Neal. She's got one hell of a set of lungs on her. Sometimes Jace wonders that she doesn't wake the dead.

It's snowing outside, already building up on the balcony in a drift. He nudges the loveseat around with his hip so he has a good view, settling into it and covering himself and Weezy with a blanket. He kisses her hair and brushes his thumb over her cheek. She yawns, waving one tiny fist before falling silent again, her breathing slow and steady. He feels kind of special and kind of awesome, being the only one who can get her to fall back to sleep every single time. Neither of her fathers can do it.

He and Tom had been invited back to Seattle with Tim and Neal under the auspices of being free baby sitting to save Tim and Neal from sleep deprivation. The truth is that the older men feel sorry for Jace and Tom and the fact that they really have nowhere to go. Even though Jace got drafted and is living the dream that his father had had and lost, thanks to the booze, their father wants nothing to do with him. Not since he took Tom to live with him and won't throw him to the side. Just because Tom's out and proud, just because he's not afraid to dress how he wants to dress and be who he wants to be.

Jace could never be that brave. He can't even admit that he likes men, not to anyone but his brother and a handful of trusted teammates.

He's doing pretty good right now. He's perfectly capable of getting a home of his own. But he's still scared. He was scared to death, even living in San Francisco on his own. Tom is three years younger and yet he's the one who frequently has to reassure Jace. He hadn't objected when Jace had decided to take Tim and Neal up on the offer. They can't go back to Tacoma. Nor do they want to. And they haven't found another place that they really fit in, not yet. Away from the Giants, after the season, they're just drifting.

Tim is an anchor, has been since Jace met him during spring training. He'd tolerated Jace following him around and then grew accustomed to it. He tortures Jace incessantly, but there's love behind it, just like there is from most of the other guys. Jace can't let go of him, not yet. He can't do this on his own. He's not ready. He's just... not.

“Awake already?” Neal's voice is rough with sleep. Jace doesn't look at him.

“Beauty here woke up. Got her right back to sleep. Thought we'd watch it snow for a little while though.” Jace answers, stroking Weezy's cheek again.

“Tom?”

“Asleep in his room. Checked on Mozzie. Weezy woke her up but she went back to bed fast enough.”

Neal nods, sitting next to Jace and rubbing his face. “You haven't been sleeping much lately.”

“I never sleep much.”

“Liar.” Neal snorts. “You sleep like the dead when you're comfortable. Why aren't you comfortable here?”

“Because I can't keep relying on Lincecum. I should be taking care of myself. Taking care of Tom myself. And I'm not, because I'm a coward that latches onto-”

“ _Stop_.” Neal orders, and Jace stares at his Weezy's sleeping face so he won't have to look at Neal. “Stop it right now. You're not a coward. We asked you to be here because we want you to be here. Tim loves you as much as you love him. You have no idea how much he worries about you. He was terrified you were going to go back to Tacoma. He knows how much you still hate that place and that you never want to go back. But he also knew you probably would because you didn't know anything else.”

Sometimes, Jace really hates how right Neal is about so many things. How smart he is and how good he is at reading people. He can always see right through Jace and his bullshit and he always calls him on it. Then again, Jace has met Peter and El. He's not at all surprised now that he knows where Neal gets it from. The thought makes him miss Jones. Gorgeous, no bullshit Jones. Jace blushes in spite of himself, hands Weezy to Neal when he's nudged.

“We love you, Jace. We want you here. You're family, you and Tom both. You're my family. You're Tim's family. June, El and Peter love you too. Stop thinking you don't belong.” Neal says, quiet and gentle but also firm.

After that, they're quiet. Jace gets up long enough to make both of them microwave hot chocolate that Neal wrinkles his nose at but drinks anyway. They watch the snow drift down and are happily content with the idea of being snowed in the next day. After a while, Jace feels his eyes drooping again and he mumbles a good night to Neal, leaning over to press a soft kiss to Weezy's head before climbing to his feet and making his way down the hall to the guest room.

He stretches out in the overlarge bed, stares at the picture of their makeshift family that sits on the end table. He says it to himself, quiet and firm, that he belongs here. They want him here. They love him here. The idea comforts him enough that, for the first time in two days, he sleeps.


End file.
